How to Work with Your Divorce Attorney to Achieve the Best Possible Outcome
When you hire a divorce attorney, you expect her to do the best possible work for you. While of course you're not responsible for the quality of your attorney's work, there are simple things you can do to help her work well and efficiently on your behalf. Here are some dos and don'ts to help your attorney do her best for you, and for you to have the least stressful divorce proceeding as possible:
DO raise any and all questions and concerns as soon as possible; as the adage goes: “the only bad question is one that remains unasked.” We'll do better when we understand your needs, and you'll feel better that your concerns have been addressed.
DON'T send us multiple short emails over the course of a day.
DO keep notes on your thoughts and questions and put them in a single email (or two) addressed to your attorney mid-afternoon. This will keep your legal costs in line and help us provide the best and most comprehensive response. Issues are frequently interrelated. Combining questions and concerns in a single email will help us to respond fully and accurately, while addressing those concerns in a timely manner.
DO continue to discuss any and all pending matters with your spouse, if you can do so without anger and hostility.
DON'T make deals with your spouse, partner, or the other parent of your child without consulting with your attorney first.
DON'T discuss matters relating to your divorce with your children—ever.
DO reassure your children that they will continue to see both parents after the divorce, and that they did nothing to cause the divorce.
DO gather all documents and complete all forms requested by your attorney quickly.
DON'T second guess your attorney's advice based on conversations with friends at work, the gym, the golf course, or during a night out. REMEMBER—your family and your divorce is unique, and the strategy devised is tailored to your particular situation, needs, and goals. It will not be like anyone else's in most cases.
DO raise any questions you have in a timely manner. DON'T let things fester.
DON'T air your grievances or discuss your case on social media.
DO keep all your interactions with your spouse, partner, or the other parent civil, polite, and free from name calling or profanity. This includes email, text, voicemail, and social media postings, as well as face-to-face discussions.
DON'T expect your attorney to provide psychological counseling. Your attorney may recognize, but is not trained to work with you on, psychological issues that may arise during your case.
DO see a counselor or therapist regularly. Your attorney can, most likely provide a referral to a private therapist or counseling group.
DON'T be embarrassed about seeking help. Divorce is stressful. Counseling can help you not only to reduce stress during the divorce, but to come up with problem-solving strategies that will help both you and your children long after your divorce is over.
To learn more about how to help your divorce go as smoothly as possible, we invite you to contact the Law Office of Elizabeth Lidd Factor, P.C.
